site by RobinHoodSEO aka spiney

To hear a valiant tale

Of Robin Hood the bold outlaw

Who lived in Barnesdale.

He was a handsome robber lad

He helped the weak and poor

Until he came too old to fight

And could draw his bow no more.

Good Robin went to see the doc

Who said he needed rest

But the medieval N.H.S.

Could not meet his request.

The waiting list was two years long

And poor Robin needed help

He had to seek some private care

And pay the bill himself.

He said to Little John, "Forsooth!

This ’ere ’s a sorry mess

That I can?t get my ailments cured

On the good old N.H.S.! "

Said Little John, " Now sither ’ ere

You mustn ’ t take on so

I know a little nursing home

That ’ s just the place to go.

There is a priory not far hence

Kirklees,it is,by name

The prioress,it Is said by all

Is a healer of great fame. "

" The Prioress of Kirklees," said Robin,

"I knew her long ago,

She’s of my kin and loved me well

Perhaps to her I’ll go.

She loved me in those far off days

My wife she longed to be,

But I was troth to Marian

So she went to fair Kirklees.

And now she’s prioress, I hear

With healing gifts,you say

Perhaps she ’ ll cure me of my ills

For our love of yesterday. "

2 Ballad of Rob in Hood

So John and Robin set to ride

To seek the holy nurse

But when they got to fair Kirklees

They found instead a curse!

The Prioress would not let them in

She called out, "Scurvy knaves,

I’ll not have tourists on my land

Looking for famous graves! "

Called Little John, "Good dame, I pray,

Save your poor kinsman ,Robin,

He needs some tender nursing care

Look at the poor man sobbing! "

The Prioress blinked her evil eye

As she recalled her lover

"How dare he come and seek my aid,

When he went and wed another?

I’ll give him healing and by gum

From me,his former lover,

Brave Robin Hood,I have you now

And you will not recover!"

So the Wicked Prioress let him in

And locked him in her chamber,

She sent good Little John away

Leaving Robin in mortal danger.

For the Prioress had an accomplice,

Her toy boy lover Roger,

A priestly rogue from Doncaster,

He was her dickipoggy lodger.

They wove a web of wickedness

They drained their patient’s lifeblood,

They were a pair of vampire beasts,

To thus murder Robin Hood.

3) The ballad of Robin Hood

But wait a moment,pray,good folks,

Our Robin’s not yet done for.

He blew his trusty hunting horn

And Little John came pronto.

"Now help me shoot an arrow,John, "

Quoth Robin in his pain,

"And underneath it,bury me,

And write above my name:

HERE UNDERNEATH THIS LITTLE STONE

LIES AN ARCHER TRUE AND GOOD

HE WAS A FAMOUS YORKSHIREMAN

THEY CALLED HIM ROBIN HOOD.

But Little John shouted with rage,

"I’ll burn this place to cinders,

I’ll put a curse upon this house

And break all of it’s windows! "

"Nay,John,good friend, I never harmed

A woman in my time,

Just lay me in the peaceful earth,

And forgive the nuns their crime."

And with these words poor Robin died

And Little John fell weeping

But his curse upon fair Kirklees

Now later years are reaping

The nuns anre gone the priory too

And Robin’s grave forgotten

Neath fallen stones and strangling weeds

Our heritage lies rotton

Now listen well for very soon

This ballad will be endeth

But let us say, it is a sin

The Robin’s grave’s untendeth

God Yorkshire folks, pray use your wits

Think how Robin helped those needing

His grave could make a lot of brass

For a liittle bit of weeding

The Nottinghamites have done quite well

From an old oak tree in Sherwood

So Wakefield and Kirklees unite

And save your Robin Hood

Lets lift the curse from our Kirklees

Where the prioress knows no rest

As with her red haired lover priest

Theys till both thwart our quest!

OH EVIL PAIR, BEGONE BEGONE

LET ROBIN REST IN PEACE

AND LET US TRULY HONOUR HIM

IN HIS GRAVE AT FAIR KIRKLEES